Okay. Not love. More like rollercoaster of hormonal imbalance. That has to be it. This is how my day went:

1. Woke up at 5:30am after only going to bed around 1… for the SECOND time this week (It is onlyWednesday people! That means two days straight of less than 4 hours sleep. Maybe some of you with chronic insomnia are thinking, “Lucky bitch, what is she complaining about?” But as I have said in the past, I am a 8-9 hour a night kind of gal…). Mood: sleepy and irritated and I have a freaking headache. Lack of sleep is the #1 cause of emotional instability in my life. I swear. Too much, I’m intollerable. Too little, take cover!

2. Caught the bus and got to the coffeeshop right at they were opening (7:30am). Got a fresh cup of coffee and a white chocolate cranberry scone (which they always sell out of by 10am). Mood: happy. Got my scone and caffeine (which I hoped was going to take care of the headache).

3. Began a lab write up that needed to be finished by 8:45. Yes. I know that I am a procrastinator. And yes this down swing was mostly because I should have done the work the day before and I didn’t. But I had forgotten the manual to write up the report so I couldn’t do it last night. So I need to print something out and the printer jams at 8:30. I am trying to print something out for class. I finally just print to another printer though now it is 8:40 and I have to get to class. Mood: mad. And so much for getting rid of the damn headache.

4. Went to class. My lab partner and I get along really well for the first time ever today. Probably because I let her tell me about herself. I was interested in what she had done before she decided to go back to school. And this is the first time that a lab actually went well - from beginning to end. Mood: good. I didn’t screw up. The TA flirted with me, which bolstered the good old self esteem.

5. Ate lunch with Miss P. Talked about PP. Mood: alright. It was nice to chat with Miss P.

6. deleted for potential readers’ sakes, but it left me way pissed off.

7. Meet with TA above to talk about statistics. He is a nice guy, but we talk about statistics. Mood: Tired of being the dumb one. I am just as accomplished as most of the people I meet and yet I let them act superior to me.

8. Present moment. Mood: Teary. Should I stay here and work? Should I catch the bus home and enjoy what little daylight is left? I know that when I go home, I am not going to want to work, but I have to finish my lab tonight and I have to read up on enrichment factors. What do I really want to do? Cook myself a meal (for the first time in a long time), enjoy some music and just lay in bed under the covers. If I can get all of my data finished by tomorrow, perhaps I will spend some of Friday doing just that.

Recap: sleepy and irritated and I have a freaking headache THEN happy THEN mad THEN good THEN alright THEN Way pissed off THEN Tired of being the dumb one THEN Teary.

I’m done man. Pooped out. Thanks for listening.

I live in Yolo County in CA. There are about 4 fires going on at the moment. The sun is blocked out of sight because of the smoke. The air quality is horrendous. On Tuesday, when I was walking to class, I actually had difficulty breathing because there was so much garbage in the air. It was hard to see. It looks like it is going to rain today, but really it is just all of the particles in the air. I wish my digitial camera would capture just what it is like here, but I don’t think that it will.

I realize that this is a nerdy post. I study the atmosphere and days like today sicken me. They are also the reason why I will be able to find gainful employment in this state.

I am going to break. I need a break. How do you explain to five different people that if they don’t stop making demands on you, they won’t have a choice over which day you take as a “mental health” day?!?

I know that I say this in almost every post, but I love my little winemonkey. On Friday night, when I got to his house, he had all of the ingredients at his house to make dinner. I started setting up the old computer that I was giving him. We had some cocktails and ate turkey burgers. We listened to music all night long and danced around his house. It was sublime.

On Saturday he made me a super special breakfast consisting of chicken fried steak, complete with potatoes and country gravy. This has been a werid craving that I haven’t quite gotten over yet. Then we went out to SR to see his best friends and their new baby. The baby is just the sweetest little thing and it was good to see his friends in a non-party situation. Then we went to see Napoleon Dynamite. Which was the most HILLARIOUS movie I have seen this year. I absolutely loved it. Maybe because there were tiny parts of me that could relate. If you haven’t seen it, you MUST. It rocks. After the movie we went shopping (something both he and I hate doing) and then home to make another dinner. Soup. He made me broccoli cheese soup. Deeeee-lish. And we watched Master and Commander, which was just okay in my book. I found it hard to keep track of all of the characters. And once combat started, I couldn’t tell one crew from the other.

On Sunday we were supposed to go wine tasting, but it got cancelled for a bunch of different reasons. I watched Nascar and some football with him and his brother, but ended up taking a nap, because football has that effect on me. He asked me to go to a concert with him and his friend Deuce, but I have been Deuced out as far as concerts are concerned. I have to be a conference anyway, so it was a slightly easier decision because of the conference.