East to Sacramento that is. I am gearing up for a meeting with my advisor. He wants to see a time line for my disseration. I keep trying to tell him that is a waste of time for me to make these time lines. If I had followed a SINGLE one of them, I would have been done CENTURIES ago. But alas, here I am, still knee deep in dissertation crap and scrambling for air. The only thing I can say is that I look forward to this all being in the past. But I say that all of time.

A few weeks ago my mom told me that her and my dad bet on whether or not I would finish by the end of June. Meaning one had faith that I would finish and one didn’t. And I know which one had the faith and which one didn’t. There was no winning this one. The one that had faith would lose faith when I didn’t finish and the other would already know that I wasn’t going to finish and never had faith to begin with. Which is worse?

Apparently there was something big riding on this bet. And I was pretty pissed that they bet at all and couldn’t figure out why my mom told me in the first place. I am guessing that they think it is taking me so long because I procrastinate. And that has a little to do with it. But it also has to do with a million other things as well.

But that is all the past. (I called my mom to talk about it and she made it clear that they are not dissapointed in me and all of the other things a great mom does when you tell her your feelings are hurt.) Even if I could have finished by the end of June, I wouldn’t have wanted to. See, the beautiful thing about grad school is that they pay me to do this shit. And what with not being able to work the month of August and wondering how I was going to pay all of my bills, stretching it out another month was really the best idea I have had in my entire life. Because even though I don’t work on my dissertation 40 hours a week, I am getting paid like I do. Add that to the part time job that I am working, and you are looking at a girl who might actually accumulate a savings. You read that right, a SAVINGS.

So even if the loser of the bet loses something big, or owes the winner something big, I sleep better at night knowing that I can afford to take my first trip to Las Vegas to meet my parents in August. I sleep better at night, knowing that my rent won’t be late and my bill payments are all on time. And mostly, I sleep better knowing that I won’t have to ask for financial help in the month of August, because I might actually have this money thing under control.

Posted in Dissing the dissertation, family ties :
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