This is just the tip of the iceberg. Yesterday I took a parking pass for work. Their only requirement is that you return it by 9 am the following morning. Because I borrowed it just last week on Friday, then spent an extra hour Monday morning trying to find the pass, I set myself an alarm so I wouldn’t forget it this time.

I did manage to remember the pass this morning. However, once I got to work I promptly forgot that I needed to turn it in. So the parking office had to call me.

I have been so wrapped up with my life lately that I haven’t been checked in mentally anywhere. I worry that I am not remembering conversations, sounding uninterested when people are talking to me, not getting work done, and not sleeping very much. I can’t even pinpoint what I am so distracted with. I just hope that once my family gets here I can focus on someone other than me.

I walk 3 – 5 miles every day. EVERY SINGLE DAY. And I try and eat healthy. And I have been doing this for about 6 months now… In fact, as of today I have been doing it for 6 months. And how does my body thank me?

By hanging on to every pound of fat, flesh, muscle and water I brought here with me.

Seriously. It kind of sucks.

I might have fallen asleep at my desk today. For 10 minutes or so. And that…. THAT was the highlight of my day.

I don’t know why I am so tired… I think it has to do with the fact that I have somehow gotten out of the habit of taking my thyroid medicine in the mornings like I used to. The main problem is that I am just lazy. It is an extra step in my morning routine and I have all kinds of excuses as to why the medication takes a back burner to everything else. But really. It has to stop.

I also need to start doing yoga again. I have noticed some MAJOR tension in my shoulders and legs and neck. Yoga generally helps. The one hour massage, courtesy of Miss P for my 30th birthday, will also help in the process. I am looking forward to this Friday. Lisa and Lam are going to puppy sit while I get pampered. I think Miss P might already have an appointment that night as well… so maybe I will run into her at the spa. Does that sound snobby? Good. =)

I don’t know what is going on. Winemonkey left on Saturday morning and now when I wake up I miss him terribly. Poor Pebbles starts crying and scratching at the door about 1-4 minutes after I walk out it. Just going down to do the laundry causes her distress. I start crying when I know I have to leave. Have you ever tried to mask your anxiety from an animal? Because I don’t know if that is part of the problem. I have a huge amount of anxiety knowing that I am going to leave. And tomorrow? God I am frantic about it.

This afternoon on my way home from work I started thinking about my love/hate relationship with moving. A while back I had come to the realization that all my moving had a deeper reason than just a job or person, or whatever. I started to correlate my moving with my general unrest with life. When I became depressed, I packed up my stuff and left.

I didn’t have to look very deep to see this correation, by the way. This last move however, really was for a job. I know that because I miss the living bejeezus out of my apartment in Santa Rosa. But I find it psychologically intersting that I am so anxious to get back. My life here in Sacramento is full of really good things. I really love being close to my sister. Seeing her once a week has been really good for both of us I imagine. And Miis P with her little Miss M? That has been a treat as well.

Truth be told, there is something nice coming home to a house with no TV. Where I am my only entertainment. I seem to get so much more done for myself. Including crafts and cleaning. I know that when I go back to Santa Rosa it is going to be hard to maintain this lifestyle and I really can’t tell you why. It isn’t like Winemonkey forces me to watch TV. Hopefully the effort will be strong.

p.s. a whole post and no mention of Pebbles…. I was trying to spare you. =)

It occurred to me that I have been slacking in the most offensive way here. I went to a fabulous restaurant and I didn’t tell you what I ate. I went to a bad-ass taco dinner night with friends who I love and don’t see enough and you didn’t even know it. I bought what I need to make my own wine this year and you are the last to know. Did you know I baked the most awesome pink princess birthday party cake? I bet you didn’t. And somewhere in there I went camping at a beautiful reservoir where we encountered a bear! Maybe I told you that part…

But don’t worry. I haven’t even been spreading the love by telephone to those who’s numbers I have.

So let me start with the most recent: The pink princess birthday party cake. Well Pink Princess Birthday Party Cake and coordinating cuppycakes. (Her icing top was deftly removed by a four year old boy. The inappropriate humor that ensued is too much for me to repeat.)

You know what makes me feel so good about this cake? Is that this special little three year old pulled her step stool up to the side of the table to get a better look at her michellemade birthday cake. Something melts when a little girl tells you she thinks you made her something beautiful. You might also melt when you see another little girl eating her little cuppycake.

And, as a side note, there was a pink princess jumpy house. Which the adults TOTALLY used once most of the kids were gone. But this little guy hung with us even when we were jumping like maniacs.

Kid’s birthday parties. Nothing takes you back to your inner kid. God it felt good!