Apparently with a PhD, I am qualified to pass a microphone around to a bunch of people so that they can ask questions.

I wish I had more responsibility. I wish I had responsibility that I wanted. Someday. I hope.

FYI. I am a good organizer.

Today I had a melt down. I am getting put in charge of many things at work. It is good, but stressful. Today a friend of mine from work, who always made me feel good, died. His wife went to wake him up for work this morning and he was dead. He was a talker… and a good man. It seems sad to me that on his dying day he came to work, did his job, went home to his wife, went to bed… only to not wake up. No retirement. No goodbyes. Just checked out.

When my grandma passed away I had a chance to say goodbye. It was hard, but beautiful and gave me the closure I needed. When my grandpap passed away I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye in person. But his passing certainly wasn’t sudden.

Today was hard on many levels. But Lisa came to my rescue. She drove over after I got home from work and listened to me talk about the guy from work. She also gave me some advice for Pebbles and her anxiety. Because today she literally pushed her pressure gate out of the way to get out of the kitchen… only to dig up more of the carpet.

It is time for a little yoga.

I am spending a lot of time trying to get this place in Sacramento to feel like home. And this weekend, I realized that I don’t HAVE to stay here. I mean, I have to stay unless I have another job opportunity somewhere else. And how does one get a job opportunity? Well, they apply for jobs of course. So I think that I am going to put myself back out on the circuit here and look for something back in Sonoma County. Even though it means I will be moving again. Even though that means my new stuff will have to find a home in our other apartment. Even though sending out resumes is stressful.

Maybe this time will be better than the last.

I just got back from a week of camping with the Padges and Winemonkey. Ever been camping with a three year old? It was fun… reminded me of when I was nanny but with a lot less responsibility. But you are still constantly on. We went to this place called Union Valley Reservoir. The camp was dusty, the weather was perfect, and the water wasn’t so cold you couldn’t stand to be in it. Our first night there, I saw a bear lumbering through our campsite. It was pretty scary because the two children were asleep in the tent. But the bear already stole food from another campsite and our camp was between the food source and his den. It was nice to not think about finding work for a whole week. For some reason I didn’t stress about it at all. Perhaps I should just live in the woods?

After a week without showering, we went over to Porter’s house. It was like a little slice of heaven. Warm shower, soft bed, and the best were toilets that didn’t want to make you gag everytime you went into one. It was a great weekend with their family and I got to see some friends who I don’t see very often. We had a shrimp taco extravaganza. Lisa and lam came over too! It was such a good time. And again, I really don’t remember feeling particularly down at any point during our visit. We played games after dinner and even had time to go to market on Sunday before we headed home.

Today is my first day of work at the winery as their “harvest intern”. I am really looking forward to it, except that I shaved all of the callouses off the bottoms of my heels and it turns out that I had built them up for a reason. So hopefully I will be able to find a pair of shoes that don’t make my feet hurt. Other than that… it’s going to be a great day! We might be getting grapes as early as this week!